Dumb Luck
by Newbie GK
Summary: She knew she shouldn't do this. If she did, it would make letting him go so much harder. But she pushed aside those thoughts. Instead, she closed her eyes and pretended she could feel this way forever. InoShika. Companion piece to In Our Wisdom. Complete.


**Author's Note**: Sorry this took so long, but it tripled in size while I was writing it. I'm still debating whether I should cut it down some… In any case, feedback would be great, especially suggestions or mentioning points of grammatical errors.

**Summary**: Irony always was such a bitter teacher. Excerpt: Ino lays dying and cannot help but think that maybe she was an idiot after all. "Oh why didn't I tell you how I felt when I had the chance?"Sequel to _In Our Wisdom. _Complete

**Shout-outs: **Random Mongoose (thanks for being the first reviewer of In Our Wisdom); Jenny (hope you like it even though it's really long); 7 up (trust me there is a happy ending to this); Anna (When it comes to cliche, I'm all about happy endings); kukaidust (here is your sequel); abby (I know what you mean, that's one of the reasons I wrote it with the ending I did)

**Warning**: Technically this is a sequel, but it can be read alone (I would recommend reading _In Our Wisdom _since it provides the mindset of the characters.) Mention of fighting, implied sex, and death. Takes place while Konoha wars with Sound.

**Disclaimer**: Naruto is not mine. If it was, hints of Shikamaru and Temari wouldn't exist.

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Dumb Luck

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- 

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"To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead."  
**Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970)**, _Marriage and Morals (1929) ch. 19_

But love is blind and lovers cannot see  
The pretty follies that themselves commit;

**William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616)**, _"All's Well That Ends Well", Act 1 Scene 1_

-

-

Sometimes even the best plans in the world, done by a soon-to-be chief strategist of Konoha can go a bit awry. And other times, they can go straight to hell.

The mission had gone wrong from the beginning. Intel said their target Aizawa Masaru, a rogue ninja suspected of enticing Mist villagers to join Sound, would be a fairly easy target for assignation: a typical C-ranked mission. _Yeah, right, more like A-ranked at the very least. _He would be traveling with only a few companions. _There were nine total._ His companions wouldn't be ninja. _All were former ninja. _A few of them might possess fighting skills but it would be a mediocre-level at best. _One had a kekkei genkai. _But most importantly, the assigned four-man team from Konoha would be able to catch the group by complete surprise. _It was a trap from the beginning; they knew we were coming_. Only by the time Shikamaru realized this, it was too late to stop their planned attack. They already had committed themselves, and now they had to kill Masaru tonight. Before he could go out and find more ninja to replace the four they already killed.

Shikamaru's mind began frantically searching for a logical way to accomplish their mission without too much unnecessary risk to his team. Unfortunately, under the given circumstances, all two hundred potential moves he planned ended unfavorably with at least one member of his team severely injured. It didn't help that he planned the mission based on the idea that he would have the element of surprise on his side and that had been long since lost.

'_Come on, think,' _he told himself as he dogged the poisoned-tipped kunai his opponent held. When the man struck again, Shikamaru grabbed his arm and stopped the kunai inches away from his own throat. _'Man, this is such a drag. It would be so much easier if I didn't have to conserve my remaining charka for killing Masaru.'_

Speaking of Masaru… Shikamaru tilted his head black in order to glance at the rogue ninja. To his surprise, he found Masaru smirking as he watched Ino direct his companion's body to attack another one of his men; the lack of worry and apathy on his face sent a seed of fear into Shikamaru's stomach. There it began to grow as Shikamaru noticed that he was eyeing one of Shikamaru's teammates somewhat amused from where her body rested behind the large, tired frame of Choji and a clone Ino created earlier. Comprehension dawned on him. _'Oh no, Ino!' _Before Shikamaru could shout out to his blonde teammate, Masaru had already taken action.

Without saying a word, Masaru plunged a knife into his unsuspecting victim's back and watched for the ramifications to unfold. The Ino-clone stood on shaking legs, one of her hands reaching down to cover her stomach where a wound had suddenly formed. With a large pop, she disappeared. The Ino on the ground suppressed a scream as she reentered her own body to escape Masaru should he attack his comrade again. Even through she could fight back the scream in her throat, she couldn't stop her body from shuddering.

Seeing this, Shikamaru quickly disarmed his opponent and slit his throat with the poisoned-tipped kunai before running to her, trusting Choji and Shino to cover his movement. Choji moved over slightly to cover the left and Shino wordlessly took the right. Both kept their eyes on the opponents who took the opportunity to gather at Masaru's side. Meanwhile Shikamaru carefully raised Ino's head to rest on his knees as he surveyed her wound. Her blue eyes were wide and frantic and seemed to stare unseeingly at the night sky beyond the canopy of trees above them. Her mouth gasped desperately trying to take in air to her lungs. And one trembling hand rested over her stomach where the wound had appeared although no weapon had actually pierced her skin. But that was the problem with her Mind Possession Jutsu. Any wound on the body she inhabited became her own. And when the enemy figures out this weakness and is willing to sacrifice one of his own soldiers to win the battle…

Shikamaru looked at the rogue Mist ninja as he nonchalantly removed the kunai from his comrade's back. The injured man fell to the ground, gasping and bleeding like Ino. Noticing he captured Shikamaru's attention Masaru grinned and carelessly stepped over the body.

He then glanced at Ino and shook his mockingly, "Such a pity. It seems your teammate is in quite a predicament there. She doesn't have much time before she bleeds to death if she doesn't receive treatment immediately."

Shikamaru raised his hands to prepare the signs for the Shadow Neck Bind Technique, a deadly technique that would utilize the abundant shadows around him to form a hand to strangle Masaru, the men around Masaru tensed recognizing it as the technique that killed two of their men already.

But Masaru just waved them off and laughed. "I wouldn't do that if I were you, boy. Although you managed to get the best of us so far, our reinforcements will be arriving any moment. If you run now you might be able to escape them. Stay and continue fighting us and your pretty little blonde will surely die."

Shikamaru stared at the man's grinning face; it was impossible to tell if he was bluffing or not since he did nothing but continue to smirk at having gained the upper hand. Shikamaru scowled. It would make sense that Masaru would have made such arrangements ahead of time since he did know that this attack was coming. _'But why would he warn us then?' _Shikamaru looked again at his amused face, _'probably because he knows that we still might get a chance to kill him at least before his men get here. And no matter how much he hides it behind that grin of his, he doesn't want to die or else he wouldn't have been so willing to risk his comrade's life.' _

"Well Leaf-ninja, will you take her back to your precious village in the hopes that your beloved Hokage can work her magic to heal her or just let her die?"

Shikamaru looked at his companions who stood in a defensive stance just slightly in front of him. He knew Choji was exhausted but the tightness of his jaw showed that he was willing to keep fighting if ordered; Shino also remained at a ready stance but Shikamaru knew that it would be dangerous to do so.

The ninja with the _kekkei genkai_ had taken out a huge amount of Shino's destruction bugs in an earlier attack which controlled air pressure. The man seemed to compress the air pressure in a five foot radius before releasing it in a large explosion. Fortunately, Shino's bug clone took the hit, but the explosion crushed most of the bugs that formed the clone. Shikamaru wasn't exactly sure how many bugs Shino had left but overall he had the general impression that Shino needed his charka in order to care for his injured bugs and to control his remaining ones. He wasn't going to be much help. As for himself, his chakra was at less than a quarter of its normal strength and he would need it if he was going to be the one racing Ino back to the village especially since the village was around a full day's distance at normal running speed.

"Well boy, what's it going to be?"

He looked back at the remaining four opponents. Only two of them, the leader and the one with a _kekkei genkai_, posed a real challenge. Both were strong opponents: Masaru for his brute strength, knowledge and use of Mist's secret techniques, and his cunning ruthlessness; the other for his powerful technique. As a shinobi, his orders were to complete the mission, no matter the cost including the life of a teammate. His photographic memory recalled rule number 25 in particular: a shinobi must never show their emotions in battle. _'But this was __**Ino**__.' _

He looked at his hand covering her wound. Blood was already beginning to seep through his fingers. He tore off his left sleeve in a long segment to use as a makeshift bandage and quickly but carefully wrapped it around her waist.

"Fall back," he ordered while picking up Ino's battered body.

"Wise decision," the leader commented with a grin.

"Don't worry," Shikamaru said with a smirk barely visible beneath all the shadows the forest provided, "I'll be back for you."

-

He took off into the trees, knowing that Choji and Shino would follow close behind. "Shi-ka," Ino rasped, her free hand reaching up to his cheek.

"It'll be alright, Ino," he said to the injured girl focusing on jumping from one branch to the next.

"Shi-ka," she tried again.

"Rest Ino, you can yell at me later," he told her, scanning his surroundings. It didn't seem like anyone was following so far, so he glanced down at Ino again. She had tears in her eyes, whether they were of frustration or pain, he couldn't tell but she continued to try to speak.

"So-rry."

'_How could she think that she is to blame?' _Shikamaru mentally groaned; he would never understand women. "It's not your fault," he told her firmly.

She still looked like she wanted to say more but weariness prevented her from doing so. Her eyes fluttered close and she fell unconscious.

After running all out for five minutes, the group stopped to bandage their wounds. Hopefully, they had put enough distance between them and the enemy so if the reinforcements did arrive and decide to pursue them, they would have at least some time to spare. In all actuality, they should have kept running for another ten or twenty minutes but Shikamaru didn't think that Ino could hold out until then. They needed to stop the bleeding as best they could otherwise they would be bringing a corpse home to Tsunade. Unfortunately, Ino was their medic on the mission and she was the one out of commission.

"Will you be able to heal her?"

Shino's quiet voice interrupted Shikamaru from his musings. "She needs Tsunade to heal the internal damage but I should be able to at least slow the bleeding."

"I will send out some of my destruction bugs to scout ahead for any potential problems."

"Good. Did you manage to plant a female on Masaru?"

A slight nod. "Yes, while he was talking."

Shikamaru nodded once to show he understood and turned his attention back to treating Ino. She was still unconscious and blood had already soaked through the cloth fabric he used as a bandage.

"Is she really going to be okay?" Choji asked handing him their small kit of medical supplies.

"Of course," Shikamaru replied not looking at him, "She's Ino. She can't die."

Choji looked him with something akin to pity but didn't say anything. He just shook his head and knelt beside him. Shikamaru got to work. He didn't have any formal training in healing but he had learned the basics from watching Ino on previous missions. First, he unwound the soaked bandage and tossed it aside to be burned before they left. They couldn't afford to leave any tracks. Then he opened the small bottle of alcohol to cleanse the wound. "Hold her down, I'll keep one hand over her mouth in case she wakes up and starts screaming."

Choji nodded and moved to spot near her head so he could hold down both shoulders. Shikamaru placed a tentative hand over her mouth and the other held the bottle at an angle over the wound in her stomach ready to pour the liquid. "Ready?" he asked.

Choji nodded again. Shikamaru began to pour. The moment the alcohol touched the wound, Ino woke up screaming as Shikamaru predicted. His hand helped to muffle the sound, but it startled Ino into trashing. And to Shikamaru's horror, she began to cry. Large wet tears rolled down her cheeks and hit the hand he held over her mouth. Shikamaru, who hadn't seen Ino cry since the day Sakura stopped being her friend, panicked. "Ino, it's us! It's okay, it's just us. Shikamaru and Choji, your teammates!"

Shikamaru's shouting seemed to calm her down. She opened her eyes to look at Choji first then Shikamaru. When her blue eyes focused on him, Shikamaru slowly removed his hand from covering her mouth. "It's just us," he repeated softly. She nodded, tears still residing in her eyes. "Hurts," she gasped closing her eyes.

"I know, but I need to clean the wound and bandage it."

"Die?" she asked unable to say more.

"Not a chance."

She opened her eyes startled to hear him sound so adamant. A moment later, she closed them with a sad, quivering smile on her face. "Liar." When Shikamaru didn't refute her words immediately she knew that she had guessed correctly. _'I really am an idiot after all. I've been on hundreds of missions with you, I lived next-door to you, and have known you my whole life but I never told you how I felt.' _Tears formed again in her eyes, _'now I'm laying here dying. Oh why didn't I tell you how I felt when I had the chance?' _

"It'll be okay. We'll get you to Tsunade, she'll know what to do."

'_Tsunade – a woman who died with her lover in her arms before their dreams together were truly realized. Will that be our ending too, Shikamaru?' _Ino grimaced at the depressing thought, _'not if I can help it.' _Trembling, her hand loosely gripped his jonin vest.

"Shi-ka," she managed.

"Ino, save your breath, you're injured and-"

She shook her head both to stop his protests and to clear the fog her pain created. "Shi-ka- gotta – tell--- al-ways---loved," were the words she managed to get out before she passed out again from exhaustion. In her heart though, her words were clear, _'Shikamaru, I got to tell you that I always loved you."_

But Shikamaru, in his infinite wisdom, construed the words differently, _Shikamaru, you got to tell Sasuke I always loved him. _And like the night in the alleyway six years ago, he felt his heart break a bit more for the girl he had always loved. "Come on, Choji, let's finish this," he mumbled to his teammate to hide his reaction to her words. This time when he poured the alcohol on her wound, she didn't awaken.

-

Less than a day of running with chakra in his legs and feet had Shikamaru turning Ino over to Tsunade's care. She eyed him curiously; it was easy to figure out why. For the first time in his life, he appeared before her tired, dirty, sweaty, as if he actually put some effort into something. And Shikamaru couldn't help but agree with her unspoken thoughts. It was the first time he truly put everything he had (_and more_) into something so demanding of his energy. But she didn't say those words aloud; after all, she had a seriously injured patient to take care of. "Are the others alright?"

He nodded.

"Good, I'll take of her now but I'll want the rest of the details later," she called over her shoulder. He turned to wait in the waiting room. Over an hour later, Shizune shook his shoulder to wake him and told him the Hokage was waiting for him in her office in the hospital. He nodded and headed down the hallway. When he entered her office, she got right down to business.

"She's stable and recovering. Although she lost a lot of blood, her body should be able to replenish it in about four or five days. Most likely she'll be up and around in just under a week."

Shikamaru nodded and rose to head on home. But Tsunade gestured him to stay sitting. "I need to know what happened on the mission."

"It'll be in the report."

"Humor me. Are the others still behind you?"

He nodded. "We separated so I could get Ino back here faster. Shino and Choji are behind me by about another hour or two."

"You volunteered to rush Ino back?"

Shikamaru tried to ignore the disbelief in her tone with a shrug. "Choji isn't known for his endurance."

"And Shino?"

"Needed his charka to help replace and heal his destruction bugs. One of Masaru's men possessed a _kekkei_ _genkai_ and used it to wipe out quite a few of his bugs."

"But Masaru is dead, correct?"

"Not yet."

Her expression hardened. She leaned back in her chair and fixed Shikamaru with a critical look. "You failed the mission."

"It seemed more logical to retreat given the circumstances. Masaru had been expecting us and managed to injure and weaken us. Also, there was a high chance that he had an unknown number of reinforcements on the way."

When she continued to eye him skeptically, he raised an eyebrow and thought that girls, no matter the age, would never just say what they were thinking. "Yes, Hokage-sama?" he finally asked.

She leaned forward, with one elbow on the desk and her chin on it, she stared at him quizzically. "Tell me Shikamaru, was the retreat due to overwhelming odds or the increased risk of Ino dying while you completed the objective?"

Shikamaru didn't blink or hesitate. In truth, he had a feeling that this question was coming. "The enemy had planned for our attack, by retreating and regrouping, we had a better shot at taking down the enemy later at our own convenience and it reduced the risk of injury to the _**team**_."

"And you know where he will be?"

"Shino will. He placed a female destruction bug on him so the males in his hive will be able to follow it."

"When will your remaining team be ready to head back out?"

"Tomorrow, midday. Shino will have sufficiently recovered by then. I would like to take Kiba and Akamaru. They could be of use since Choji hit Masaru a few times earlier in the battle and should have Masaru's scent on his clothes."

She nodded. Shikamaru rose from his seat to leave but Tsunade stopped him at the door with some parting advice, "Shikamaru, although I will accept your explanation for now, I am no fool. When I hand you a mission, I expect it to be carried out without hesitation. We shinobi do not have the luxury of choosing when to obey orders and when not to even if our… friends are involved. We must always followed the orders given despite the consequences. As a jounin and as Konoha's future head strategist, you above all others must know this and follow it to the letter. Is that understood?"

"Yes, Hokage-sama," he replied evenly.

"This incident will be reported in your file."

"I understand."

"Good, you are dismissed then."

He left without another word. Walking down the hallway from her office, he tried to imagine all the different ways he could have responded after Ino was injured. They could have stayed and fought; he, as the least injured, could have stayed by himself and fought while the others tried to take her home. But in truth, he knew that any action other than the one he had chosen would have most likely led to Ino's death, and that was never an option.

-

Despite his plan to leave the next day, the Hokage decided to place a hold on the mission until the person responsible for the leak was apprehended leaving Shikamaru with time on his hands and guilt on his heart. He alternated spending his time at the hospital watching Ino's breath in and out and watching the clouds trying to forget the fact she couldn't stay conscious for more than a few minutes at a time. The few times she woke up in Shikamaru's presence, he would have just enough time to call down the hallways to alert a medic and then turn his head back in the room to see tears in her eyes. After the second day of this routine, he switched his prayers from _please let Ino wake up _to _please let Ino wake up when I'm not there_. He never wanted to cause her pain and so, seeing her cry at the sight of him, he couldn't help but feel that maybe she was better off without him. And yet, everyday he would drag himself to the hospital to see her. And everyday, he swore that it would be the last.

On the fourth day, Ino woke up one more during Shikamaru's visit. He watched her blue eyes open slowly, look around, and then focus on him sitting on a chair in the corner of the room. For once, she didn't say anything. He didn't either; he never could figure out what to say to her. So they stared at each other. A minute went by and then another. And they just stared. Finally, a nurse happened to walk in. The moment Ino turned to look at the nurse, Shikamaru felt himself awake as if from a genjustu, slowly and disorientated. Not wanting to risk making eye contact and falling under another spell, he left. Ino watched from her bed, her blue eyes narrowed at the sight of his blatant retreat.

Later after yet another nap, a side-effect from the medication the nurse gave her, Ino awoke again. Instead of seeing her lazy teammate sitting in the corner with a bored expression on his face, she saw pink. And a lot of it.

"Forehead-girl?" she asked confused.

"Yeah, Ino-pig?" the pink blob responded.

Ino groaned and put a hand to her forehead. It seemed she had slept long enough that the pain medication had worn off and her body was now paying the price. Her ribs hurt at every breath; her head pounded. And to top it all off, Ino felt like she hadn't bathed in a week. She groaned again.

"Take it easy, I'm here to give you another dose of painkillers."

"Why bother, just kill me now."

Instead of doing what she asked, Sakura chuckled slightly and handed her some pills to shallow. After she swallowed them, Sakura gave her a glass of water and sat on the chair near her bed. "So how are you feeling?"

"Like shit."

Sakura smiled at first, but then her smile fell away into a worried frown. "What's wrong," Ino asked.

Sakura opened her mouth, closed it, then sighed. "Tsunade wasn't sure if you were going to make it at first."

Ino's eyes widened. Laying in the forest, she knew that there had been a chance she would die but to hear it confirmed… "How close was it?"

"Sixty-forty odds,"

'_That's not good.'_

"Against you."

Ino winced. _'That's way too close.' _

Sakura gave another slight smile and patted her hand; she never could smile fully after Sasuke left. "I'm glad you're alright," she said one more time before leaving to continue her rounds. _'Me too,' _Ino thought.

Already the medicine was making her woozy but she fought to stay awake to remember what happened after she was wounded. A vague memory of being held floated across her mind followed by a feeling that she had frustrated about something but now thinking back she couldn't remember what it could have been. About being injured? About having to be held? She remembered thinking that she could die and accepting it, but nothing more.

'_What if I said something to him?' _Ino bit her lip, _'no I couldn't have. Shikamaru would have said something.' _After continuing to go over it again and again in her mind she finally gave up and surrendered to the idea of sleep. She dreamt of intense black eyes, a lazy smirk, and two strong arms that carrying her as they ran through the night.

That night Ino awoke with tears in her eyes. They were not tears of fear but of sadness. The dream had seemed so real, so _perfect_, but it was just a dream. It was something she would never have a chance to experience for herself; nothing she would ever experience.It was then that she decided what she was going to do. Moving slowly, she got up from the bed. She dressed in the clothes that someone, probably Sakura or her mom, had brought her from her room earlier that day. Ignoring the protest from her wound she reached up and pulled her hair up in her usual ponytail. Then against the advice of the medic-nin on duty, she checked herself out. But she didn't head home. She had a much different destination in mind.

-

Shikamaru awoke to a pounding on the door to his small apartment. He glanced at the clock: 2:00 am. He groaned in frustration. He tried putting a pillow over his head to drown out the sound but the pounding persisted. Muttering a curse under his breath, he sluggishly got out of bed. Not bothering with a shirt, he headed to the door in a pair of loose black sweatpants, cursing as he went.

"What?" he asked opening the door.

Slightly amused blue eyes stared back at him. "Well, aren't you going to let me in?"

"Ino," he answered almost breathless from the shock, "what are you doing here?"

"Let me in and I'll tell you."

He moved to the side and she breezed past him. She had only been in his apartment once or twice before so she took a moment to look around familiarize herself with the setting.

"Ino?" he said again.

She looked back at him. He still stood in the doorway with one hand on the door. His eyebrows scrunched in confusion as he looked at her trying to figure out what in the world was going on. Suddenly he didn't like a top strategist, a jounin, or even her teammate; he was just the boy she had known all her life, who grew up next to her, whose birthday they would celebrate together, the one who always listened to her no matter how "troublesome" it was.

She smiled softly. "Shut the door Shikamaru, you're letting in all the cold."

He scowled a bit but obediently shut the door behind him, now muttering about troublesome women. He crossed his arms over his chest and eyed her. "What is that you want, Ino?"

Ino took in a breath to steady herself. The moment of truth had come. Could she follow through? Could she really do this? Should she? _'Probably not, but I __**need **__this. I need to know I won't ever die alone or die without knowing what it could have been like.' _So she straightened her spine with courage she didn't feel; she smiled enticingly with confidence that she couldn't find. "You," she said brazenly.

Shikamaru's eyes widened then narrowed accusingly when he realized what she meant, or at least what he thought she meant, the "Sasuke confession" still rang in his ears and haunted his sleep. "Forget it, Ino. I'm not going to be a substitute fuck buddy for you to use and discard at your convenience."

She gasped at his curt tone but was determined to succeed. "Why Shikamaru," she said adding a trace of cynicism to her tone, "who knew you were such a prude?"

He glared. "That's not going to work on me. So forget it and get out."

She walked towards him, but rather than going out the door and leaving as he suggested, one hand reached up to cup his face tenderly and the other followed an invisible line down his arm. She raised herself on her toes to close the differences in height that the last six years caused. Her mouth rested near his ear, but he still did not react. "Tell me then, Shikamaru, what will work on you?"

"Enough Ino, I'm not going for it. "

Suddenly, the seductress act fell away, leaving only the blue-eyed blonde he thought of every time he laid on the grass and looked up at the daytime sky, the only girl he had ever loved; she was Ino again. "Please, Shika-kun," she said fighting back tears, "I _need_ this. I need to feel alive again."

And, he broke. The heart he had hardened and concealed in the shadows to prevent this very thing from happening, shattered all over his living room floor. For this was Ino and he never could deny her anything. One arm yanked her forward by the hips; the other directed her mouth to his by tugging her forward on the back of her neck. And for the first time in their lifetime, they kissed.

It wasn't a romantic kiss, a gentle brushing of their lips, but hard and greedy as if Shikamaru knew that this was his one shot at having her and he had to take all he could. And Ino did the same. So they clawed off the clothes from each other's backs and stumbled their way into Shikamaru's bedroom as a gyrating jumble. This was not the love Ino imagined as a child, nor the contented affection Shikamaru predicted his average wife would possess: this was frantic lust, a fleeting fulfillment of desire, and nothing more. And even though they both knew it couldn't last, they did not stop. Even though they knew this wasn't how they wanted it to happen, they continued.

Though at one point, Shikamaru tried to stop it before it went too far. He raised his head from where it had been kissing her neck but when he opened his mouth to speak, Ino kissed away his words. "Just this once," she whispered pulling his head back down, "just give me this one time."

And against his better judgment, he did. He knew then that she would leave and take with her his heart. But then again, he had foolishly given it to her years ago when she smiled at him like he was the best thing that ever happened to her. His heart, his thoughts, and his dreams were already hers. But to keep going, he knew, would change something between them that would never be fixed. He would finally know what it would be like to not only dream of having her but actually have her if only for a night. He dreamt of her all his life and this was his one and only chance to make those dreams come true, so he plundered her mouth with his and tried to ignore the feeling when tomorrow came, he would be worse off than before. And yet, he did not pull back his hands from her soft skin but rather smoothed his rough hands and told them to be gentle.

And as for Ino, this was the one and only indulgence she would allow herself. For she knew that he was Konoha's and never would truly be hers. So when his hands lost their greedy frenzy, she felt like crying. She knew it would be so much harder now to let him go.

'_I must remember this,' _she thought,_ 'Remember it, treasure it, and leave it behind,' _She fought to push the feeling of despair deeper inside herself as he kissed her lips so gently. And so they continued on. She ran her fingers through his loose black hair caressing and pulling as he worshiped and sucked the pale white skin below her breast and they both tried to pretend that it will last forever.

But in the morning, Shikamaru awoke in his queen-sized bed empty and alone.

-

Four days later, Tsunade gave Shikamaru the go-ahead to lead a team back and assassinate Masaru. It took only a day and half to reach him using a combination of Shino's and Kiba's tracking ability. And that night, as his shadow hand slowly squeezed the life out of Masaru, Shikamaru only wished that his jutsu was capable of leaving bruises. Instead, Matsaru fell to the ground eyes wide but neck unblemished, leaving Shikamaru feeling just as empty as he had after the morning he awoke alone. But if the rest of the members of the team saw the way the normally laidback, lazy ninja of Konoha seemed angry and almost eager to kill their target, they didn't comment. Nor did they see fit to comment on how Shikamaru's face, darkened by the shadows, seemed almost sinister. Instead, the group moved silently back to Konoha with Shikamaru taking point. The whole time his fist remained clentched and his teeth stayed ground together in order to hold back his rage that the feeling of emptiness created.

-

The next five months passed by slowly as the seasons turned away from warmer weather and headed into fall. Ino and Shikamaru, whose friendship had been strained a few times in the past but always kept them tied together, seemed to dissolve with the passage of time. When they would pass each other on the street, they would freeze for a split-second, then nod and go along their way never looking back.

Shikamaru, oddly enough, began to take more missions. The people of Konoha were surprised by this unexpected change but thought it too much of a blessing to question it. Ino also picked up more missions, though not as much as Shikamaru. What was strange was how none of their missions were together. In the past, their jutsus worked complimentary to one another, but now they each choose to go on independent missions and avoided team missions as much as possible.

When Ino wasn't on a mission she spent her free time dating. The relationships didn't last long before Ino, or occasionally the random boy, would call it off. But it never seemed to faze her. She would just move unto the next one and start over again. The little time Shikamaru had free wasn't spent cloud-gazing but instead picking up duties that he would need to learn in order to become the top strategist everyone in the village wanted him to be.

On the night of Shikamaru's inauguration as Konoha's official chief strategist, Ino approached him for the first time in five months. "Shikamaru," a voice called.

Shikamaru opened his eyes and glanced down the hallway where Ino stood a few feet away. He waited for her to continue. She didn't. "Yeah, Ino?" he prompted closing his eyes. Sometimes it just hurt too much to look at her, to look at her and remember and to think about what could have been.

"I just wanted to congratulate you on your new position."

"Really?" he asked in dry skepticism which she interpreted as doubt on his appointment.

"Don't worry Shikamaru, the council made the right decision in selecting you as Konoha's new chief strategist. Everyone knows that," she said. When he didn't say anything more, she turned to walk away. Sometimes it just hurt too much to talk to him, to say things to him but to never vocalize the words buried deep in her heart.

"What about you?" he called as she walked stiffly away. She paused and did a half turn.

"What?" she asked unsure of where he was going with this.

"What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Is that what you think too? That I am the 'right decision' for chief strategist?"

He saw the way she hesitated, the way her eyes dropped to the floor before forcing themselves back up, the way she clenched her fist as if trying to rein something back inside of her that desperately wanted to get out. But it was all gone in an instant. As if a button had been pushed, she smiled brightly as if she hadn't a care in the world, as if everything had always been and always would be perfect. He hated seeing such a false smile on her face.

"Yes," she replied finally. And truthfully she did know it better that anyone. She had been expecting this to happen ever since he made Chunin before anyone else. She had been waiting and dreading this moment for the past six years because this was the moment where she would truly have to finish what she started all those years ago. She would have to let him go and let Konoha take him away forever, to use him however they pleased. And she, she would be left with the memories she allowed herself to create with him, including the one night she decided to take a piece of him before giving him up for good.

"Goodbye," she said and turned around to walk away.

Never had such a word sounded so final and definite in his mind.

-

Another five months passed, and it was spring again. And Ino couldn't help but think that it was the wrong season for such an occasion. Spring, a season of blossoming flowers and new beginnings, shouldn't associated with so much blood. The war with Sound was reaching its climax and everywhere people were dying. Even the members of the rookie nine were not left untouched: a well-aimed kunai and blood loss rendered Tenten barren and unable to bear children; Akamaru died protecting Kiba from an enemy's attack; Choji laid in the hospital in a coma after a genjutsu rendered him unconscious two weeks ago. But it wasn't all entirely bleak. Konoha had its victories too: Sasuke turned on Orochimaru and returned to his home village when the Akatsuk unexpectedly allied themselves with Sound; the alliance with Sand was stronger than ever; and the chief strategist had a new plan that could win the war. Permanently. But only if Konoha was willing to pay the price.

The plan required the reunited team seven under the leadership of the chief strategist himself to attack the Sound village and kill its top leaders including Orochimaru, Kabuto, and Itachi. Its predicted survival rate was less than ten percent that any of them would survive, less than two percent that all would survive. If Tsunade and the members of the council agreed to the plan, Sasuke, Sakura, Naruto, and Shikamaru would never be seen again.

Ino was in her flower shop when Hinata dropped by with the news. It was unanimous. They were going to Sound. Hinata left soon after telling her but understandably so. She wanted to spend the every last moment she could with Narato before he left, especially since Narato had long since proclaimed that he returned her feelings.

Soon after Hinata left, the pruning shears dropped from her trembling hands. Her knees weakening, she allowed herself to fall to the floor and weep, cursing her stupidity. When her mother found her an hour later curled in a ball and crying, she told that she would take over the shop and that Ino should go home and rest. Ino went without protest.

By the time she got to her apartment, tears had already started to reform in her eyes. She fumbled trying to find the key to unlock her door. _'I knew that something like this would happen. That's why I decided to let him go while I still had a chance. So why am I still crying for him when I swore I wouldn't.' _Angrily, she wiped aside her tears and managed to insert the right key in the lock and stepped inside. About to close the door behind her, she was startled to find someone inside her apartment waiting for her. "Shikamaru."

"Ino," he replied evenly while taking in her disheveled appearance. She fought the urge to wipe her eyes again and straighten her hair. She hated when he saw her looking so weak. So she wrapped around herself a coat of defiance; anger had always suited her well in the past as a protective shield. "What are you doing here? Aren't you suppose to be getting ready for a mission?" she snapped.

But he knew her. So he ignored her anger comments and snappish tone and just smirked, "Shut the door, Ino, you're letting in all the cold."

Her show of anger evaporated; she felt vulnerable before him. Suddenly, she was thrown back in time to ten months ago except this time the roles were reversed and she now understood how Shikamaru must have felt when she approached him in his appartment. But for some reason, Ino didn't mind. But she tried to protest anyways. "We shouldn't do this," she reminding him gently, taking a step forward but not letting go of the door behind her.

The smirk became a wry I-have-lived-for-too-many-years-and-seen-too-much grin as he shrugged, "What do we have to lose?"

The door slammed shut.

This time in the morning, Ino was the one who awoke alone.

-

The village of Konoha waited impatiently for the news of the mission's success. On the first day, they greeted each other with tight smiles. After no news came on the second, the people became tense and jumpy. By the third, everyone was preparing themselves for a counterattack from Sound. It was afternoon on the third day when a message, sent by the leader of ANBU, finally reached the awaiting village. It only contained one word: _success_. True, Hyuuga Neji was never known for elaborate speeches but Ino felt this was much too short. Sure, they may have succeed in winning the war, Ino knew that would happen (Shikamaru did come up with the mission after all), but she wanted to know if he was still alive. Was Team 7 still alive? No one knew. Unfortunately, when no other message followed and when none of the ANBU teams returned home, the village grew restless once more. Had Neji been compromised and coerced into sending home a false report?

Another day went by and then two, then three. When Neji arrived back over a week after the message reached the village, he reported that even ANBU couldn't answer whether or not the invasion team of four still lived.

"We searched for five days to try to find the bodies. We found the remains of two of the Sound leaders but that was all. Kabuto's body was not located at all except for the remnant of a hand."

Having no other questions, the council dismissed Neji. When the council brought up the idea of adding four names to the memorial stone, the Hokage refused. "We are talking about the kyuubi-boy, the last Uchiha, my personal protégée, and Konoha's chief strategist; I won't write them off so easily." And so she encouraged them to wait until they knew more. And they did.

And Ino waited as well. And continued to wait. She took up Sakura's old residence at the front gates and thought it was ironic that history was repeating itself but with different characters.

As she waited, she began to daydream. She began to think about all the what ifs. What if she had told him her feelings years ago? What if she told him the real reason she approached the night she got out of the hospital? What if she told him to refuse the chief strategist position and to stay average like he always wanted? As more days passed, her what ifs became more and more depressing. What if he truly was dead? What if he was never coming back? Could she live with guilt, the loneliness, the feeling of being incomplete? Could she live with the knowledge that she lost every opportunity she had at a chance of a life with him?

She didn't think she could. _'He has to come back. He has to,' _she thought looking down the empty road, _'I can't live without him.' _As soon as the thought hit her, she felt guilty. _'I made my choices… I choose this… I just didn't know it could hurt so much.' _But pain or not, each day she made her way to the entrance and waited, hoping for some sign of what happened to him.

Spring was nearing its last days when finally she had her answer. She rose from her seat on the stone bench as two weary travelers came home carrying two more on their backs. The guards posted in the tower gave a yell and alerted the whole village. Quickly, people came running and shouting, eager to greet their war heroes. Ino remained standing where she was as she watched the procession. Sasuke carried Sakura; Naruto carried Shikamaru, but neither Sakura or Shikamaru moved at the sound of the rushing stampede of people.

'_The chances of everyone surviving are less than 2 percent,' _Hinata's soft voice rang in her ears and sent tears to her eyes. But she did not cry; she had cried too much in the nights since he left and she had not the tears to spare. Choji, who had emerged from his coma only the week before, approached her sluggishly; his coordination still remained off and would take some time to be restored. Together they stood side by side and waited for their third teammate to reach Konoha's gates.

Sasuke and Naruto both suffered from charka exhaustion. Naruto took two days to recover. Sasuke took a week. Sakura also suffered from charka exhaustion. In addition, her right arm was broken in seven places and her right hand in twelve. Apparently, Kabuto managed to escape the initial attack. Upon realizing that he couldn't survive against the four, he decided to do as much damage as possible in his remaining time. He used a nasty jutsu that turned Sakura's chakra against her, anytime she used her charka it would cause the charka points used to burst. When she fired up the superstrength in her right arm, she managed to severe his hand but at the cost of her own body. As for Shikamaru… Ino learned the reason that he had to accompany Team 7 on the mission. He was the decoy so Sasuke could kill Itachi. Shikamaru managed to trap Itachi long enough for Sasuke to move in for the kill. But in the few moments it took for Sasuke to get into position, Itachi used Tsukuyomi, a genjutsu that only takes a moment in real time but seems like days to the victim as they are tortured, killed and then resurrected to repeat the process. Shikamaru, who knew this would happen when he organized the mission, now rested in a coma. Tsunade gave him ten percent odds of regaining consciousness at all and less than two percent that he would be more than a vegetable if he did awake. Ino laughed bitterly when she heard the eerily familiar odds. Then she screamed and cried. Finally, they sedated her in order to calm her down.

The next day she went home and arranged a set of flowers to bring to his otherwise dreary bedside. When the flowers wilted, she brought new ones. Always the same arrangement, using the same flowers: white heathers _(protection from danger)_, purple hyacinths _(please forgive me) _and a rose. The rose was not the typical red but pink and white and it was the rose she always had the hardest time putting into the arrangement. She wanted to use a pink Zinnia but the thought of it seemed… wrong. And so into the arraignment the pink and white rose went.

As the season headed into fall and then winter, it became harder and harder to find healthy roses to use. But Ino was determined. No matter what the season or temperature was, the flower arraignment never changed and neither did her schedule. Mornings she would work in the flower shop; next she headed to the hospital for a quick lunch with Sakura and then to see Shikamaru; the afternoons, she spent watching the sky. She still didn't understand Shikamaru's fascination with clouds, but it was the only thing that kept her close to him. The body that laid in room 241 of the hospital wasn't Shikamaru, at least not the one she knew. So she laid under the sun and watched the sky for hours. At night she headed home to spend with her family before going to her apartment. When she awoke in the morning, she repeated it all again through the fall, the winter, and into spring.

It was then that he awoke.

-

His black eyes opened slowly, hesitantly. He surveyed the room with a quiet cautiousness that made Ino take in a breath and hold it. He heard the sound. His eyes snapped to where she sat in the corner of the room watching him. She let out the breath but didn't say anything. He didn't say anything either. They just stared at one another, unsure of what to say, or how to act. Finally, he took the initiative, "Ino."

It was the breathless tone of his voice that caused her to become undone; it was the same tone he used two years ago to greet her at his apartment. "I brought you flowers," she said impulsively but then wished to take back the words. She hadn't meant to draw his attention to them, but maybe… maybe it was better this way. "Each flower has a separate meaning you know," she took a breath and took a step closer, "white heathers stand for protection from danger, purple hyacinths mean… they mean I'm sorry and-" She broke off. The last eight years of denying her feelings for him kept her from speaking the words aloud and she hated herself for it.

"And the roses?" he prompted, noticing her hesitance.

"Pink and white roses…"

"Yeah?"

Her eyes dropped to the floor, then fought their way back up; her fists clenched tightly then loosened. "Friendly affection," she said with a big smile. Before he could reply she continued on breezily, "I better get go get Tsunade-san to look you over."

As she walked away, he knew she had lied.

-

When she answered the door to her apartment that night, she wasn't surprised to seeing him facing her. She just smiled, a sad, weary sort of smile, and let him in. "Coffee? Tea? Water?" she asked playing the part of the proper hostess lest her mother find out and scold her.

He shook his head and so she poured a glass of water for herself instead. "You lied to me," he said just as she took her first sip.

'_More than once,' _she wanted to add but refrained herself. Instead, she fell back on her normal routine and played dumb. "Oh?" she asked as if she hadn't a clue of what he was referring to.

"What were you lying to me about?"

'_What haven't I been lying to you about?' _Ino just shook her head, "It's late Shikamaru. Do we have to do this tonight?"

"I'm leaving in the morning. A new mission to the Land of Waves."

The glass slipped her hands, cracked itself open on the counter, and spilled all over the floor. But she didn't turn to look at him. She remained in place like an animal trapped in the sights of a hunter: too afraid to move but knowing that something bad would happen if she didn't try. "You can't," she managed to finally say in a reasonably calm voice, "you just got out of the hospital."

"My body healed itself a long time ago; it just took a while for my brain to catch up."

The calm feeling fled. "But you can't leave, Shikamaru!" she took a breath and reined back in her emotions, "you just can't."

He laughed, bitter by disbelief. "And why not, Ino? What do I have keeping me here?" he asked taking an intimidating step towards her. She ignored the opening he provided her.

"Konoha needs you," she replied stubbornly, "you're their top strategist."

"Konoha is sending me out, as their top strategist."

Ino bit her lip unsure of how to respond. "You just can't," she repeated as she grabbed a rag and began to clean up the spill.

"Why, Ino? At least give me a reason."

She sighed. "What would be the point, Shikamaru? It wouldn't change anything." Her voice trailed off at the end and for a moment she stopped wiping up the mess, "it can't change anything," she corrected to herself.

"You're wrong," he said, then let out a shaky breath, "It could change a whole lot."

She opened her mouth to speak, to finally say the words that she swore she never would but then closed it again and went back to cleaning the spill. Still, the fact that he was starting to wear her down embolden him. He began to approach. She felt herself fight both the urge to run and the urge to jump into his arms. He made the decision for her. His arms wrapped around her body, like a lover seeking his companion. He leaned down and rested his head against hers to whisper into her ear.

"How long will we do this Ino? How long do we continue hiding whatever it is between us behind false smiles and thinking of it only late at night? How long do we remain silent when any mission could be our last? You nearly died two years ago. I nearly died this last time. It was only dumb luck that has managed to keep us alive this long."

"Dumb luck?"

He grinned, "I survived a mission with 2 survival rate then emerged from coma after a year. What would you call it?"

She thought for a moment. As she did so, she stared at the man who had always had her heart even when he was too dense to realize it.

"My dreams coming true," she said.

His eyes widened, and she felt a thrill at managing to surprise the so-called genius yet again. But she wasn't finished yet. She took his momentary surprise as a chance to kiss him for the second time of their lifetime. But in reality, it should have been called their first. Because unlike the previous kiss she initiated, this one was full of gentleness, tenderness, and even awe. But mostly, it was full of the love she had hidden away in her heart under the false belief that she would never get a chance to reveal her true feelings for him. Speaking of which… she pulled away slightly. When his hands tightened around her to prevent her from leaving, she grinned.

"Pink and white roses," she said.

He blinked at the non sequitur. "What?"

"That's what I lied to you about. Pink and white roses."

"Why?" he asked but Ino heard the real question, 'why did we stop kissing for you to tell me this?'

She grinned at his disappointed expression. "Pink and white roses don't mean friendly affection," she told him watching as he closed his eyes to lean into her hand that traced along his jaw line, "they mean 'I love you still and always will."

His eyes opened. His once impenetrably black eyes were dancing with a combination of amusement and affection "Is that so?" he said pretending to think as he looked at the ceiling. Then he smirked at her. "I think I like the sound of that."

She wanted to smack him for his smugness but found she didn't have the heart, especially when he leaned down and kissed her again. Although she would never admit, she could feel her body curling into him as the feeling of such warmth. .

"I love you," he whispered in her ear.

"You too, Shika-kun. I love you too."

Call it a blessing, dumb luck, or dreams coming true, she didn't care. All she could feel was grateful. She got the happy ending she was always too afraid to hope for. True, they still had some things to work out and things could still get rocky later on, but she had the chance, the opportunity, she never thought possible. After eight years of hurt and heartache, she could begin again, this time, with Shikamaru at her side.

-

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Review? Please? Please review?


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